Treating The One Who Loves You Poorly!

 

Reasons We Allow Them To Treat Us Poorly &

 How To Stop This

Written By: Rose Joseph (J.J.)

   When it comes to our feelings about others, we may start questioning some of the feelings we are having. We might also find ourselves questioning the feelings that others are having about us. I have helped so many people over the years who either have feelings for someone who treats them poorly, or they treat someone poorly and the other person still loves or overlooks it. Why is this? Well, there are several reasons why someone might still show you love after you have mistreated them, or why you are allowing someone to treat you poorly and you still show them love!

   So, what are a few of these reasons and why do we deal with this over and over again?

1. Childhood trauma: The way they act might make you feel like you can't trust them, or like you're not good enough, or that you'll be abandoned again. These feelings might be rooted in childhood experiences, making it tough to trust or love in close relationships.

2. Hope for change: You might see their behavior as a sign of hope that they can change. You might feel in your heart that they can change, and, hoping they will, you try to overlook their flaws because you love them and hope they love you enough to change.

3. Fond memories: You might have good memories of your time together and focus on their positive qualities while ignoring their negative traits. You keep reminding yourself of the good times when things are going well, and you hope there is more good than bad. Remember the saying "When it's good, it's great, but when it's bad when will it be good again."

   Now that we know the reasons behind this is there anything we can do to help us move on if we are the one who is being treated poorly? There are a few things you could try if you have reached the point of not coming back. The truth is we can love and care for someone, but how long are we supposed to deal with the name calling, being oscillated, cheated on, or just treated poorly before we give up? The truth is only you know that answer, and that answer is different for everyone. 

   But if you have reached that point in your relationship, here are a few things you could try:

1. Put yourself first: Stop worrying about hurting their feelings or hoping they will change. Start putting yourself first, when you do you are going to start feeling better and your eyes will open.

2. Seek out support: Find others who have gone through the same thing and talk to them. Learn what worked best for them and what didn't, so you'll have a starting point. You can also get professional help by seeing a counselor.

3. Let yourself grieve: Let yourself experience all your emotions. It's okay to feel hurt and express it. If someone treats you poorly, it's natural to feel hurt. Stop worrying about their feelings, and trying to stay strong for them, and focus on your own.

4. Consider cutting contact: Take some time to reflect on your life. Are you happy with the way things are going? If you don't see things improving anytime soon, maybe it's best to move on and let go. The reality is that if people truly wanted to treat you better, they would.

   Now that you understand why you are allowing someone to treat you poorly or why you may be treating someone poorly, and know ways to address these issues, the next steps are up to you. Just remember that hurting others or allowing others to treat you poorly is not acceptable. We all deserve to be treated the way we want and deserve.

   Open your eyes up before you waste half your life trying to fix someone that don't want to be fixed. Or stop wasting someone else time if you don't care for them!