Should We Change For Someone We Love?
Should We Change For The One We Love?
Written By: Rose Joseph (J.J.)
Sometimes we meet someone and we feel like they are our whole world. We feel like we would do everything and anything for them. It's okay to feel that way, but there is a fine line between doing everything and anything for them. It's okay to want to help them, be there for them, share with them, and love and care for them. But there are things that we shouldn't have to do or change for them.
It's good to be able to change for someone we love, but feeling like you have to change things we normally wouldn't is something completely different. So, what are some things we could change for the person we love and what are things we shouldn't change for someone even if we love them?
1. Communication; If you're not big on communication this is something you may want to work on changing. If you love someone and can't communicate with them the relationship isn't going to work.
2. Boundaries; Know your boundaries and respect others' boundaries. If you have difficulty setting boundaries or accepting that it's okay for everyone to have boundaries, you should work on changing that. We all have different wants, needs, and feelings than others.
3. Listen; If you are experiencing difficulties in listening to your partner, this may pose a challenge. In any relationship, it is important to listen to one another and maintain openness and honesty. If you are experiencing this hard to do, work on learning how you can change so you can both be a good listener.
4. Space; We all need some space. If you're in a relationship and want to spend all your time together, it won't work. It's important to spend time with your partner, but you each had lives before being together. If you are one of those 24/7 people; work to change that.
5. Be Interested; Understand it's not all about you. Start showing interest in things your partner likes. Being all about yourself "Me, Me, Me" type of people will not work. Change that!
A few things you shouldn't change for someone:
1. Beliefs & Core Values; It's okay to learn about your partner's beliefs, but we should never think we have to change what we believe just because of them. Our beliefs and core values set us apart from others and are the building blocks of who we are as a person.
2. Morals; We all have different morals, and that's okay. However, if our partner wants us to change, it's probably not for the best. We should never change our morals.
3. Family & Friends; We all love and care for our family. Spending time with our family and friends is important. If they don't want you to be around or if they want you to change the amount of time you're spending with them, it isn't a good sign. Keep in mind that isolation is a bad thing.
4. Goals and Ambitions; It's okay if we don't share the same goals and ambitions as our partner, however, we should respect else others and not ask for this to be changed.
5. Your Looks; We are who we are, and we should never feel like we have to change what we look like for someone else. If they love us they will love us for who we are including how we look.
While change can be a positive thing, it can also be very unhealthy. It's important to remember that we should accept ourselves for who we are, and if we are happy with ourselves, our partner should be too. Once we acknowledge this, we can better understand the aspects of our lives that we should change and those that we shouldn't. We are all unique, and that's what makes life beautiful. We were not meant to be the same, and our differences are what distinguish us from everyone else.
So, it's okay to change some things about ourselves for he person we love, and at the same time, we don't have to change everything. And they should be fine with that because they love us.
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